Monday, July 7, 2008

Trying to deal with it All

I won't lie and say it is not still very hard. When I look in the mirror, I hate what I see. This is all going to take sometime for me to get used to the idea that I don't have hair. I'm trying to figure out who I am anymore. Life seems so difficult.
Plus, I'm missing my Sailor.

People say everthing is going to be alright and I know that in my heart. I really do! Putting on that wig and leaving the house is hard. Taking it off and getting into bed with a bald head is hard. I didn't want to even get up and sit with my husband this morning because I can't seem to face how I look right now. Oh, he loves me for who I am. He has been wonderful! It isn't him, it's me. Everyone tells me how wonderful I look in the wig and how natural it looks BUT it is still a wig. It's not my hair. I am tough and I will get by, tt's just going to take me a few days to deal with all of this.

I was able to eat a good meal yesterday.

I have to be totally upfront and honest in this blog. Please if what I am saying upsets anyone please just don't read it. I just need a place to write out my feelings.

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