Friday, May 9, 2008

May 9th, 2008 Met with Oncologist

As I stated last night, I had an appointment with the Oncologist today. Dr. Chottiner. She is suppose to be the top Oncologist at St. Joe's. I received more good news today!
12 out of 18 of the lymph nodes had cancer in them so it is off for more test next Wednesday. Chest, bone, pelvic and lots of blood work was done today. They have to find out if I'm in stage three or four. If it is stage 4, well, there is nothing they can do for me.They will give me a time frame as to how long they think I will live, maybe 10 or 15 years. If it is stage three they will hit me hard with Chemo. Again, Oh joy!

I'm not going to cry. I guess I will handle it like a man.

Next Wednesday all the test will be run. I meet with Dr. Chottiner on Thursday to discuss the test results.

Rebecca and my dad come to town tonight at 11:30 p.m. I'm really excited about that.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Random thoughts May 9th, 2008

Another sleepless night! I saw the Radiologist on Tuesday. Dr. Dudda (Strange name) told me I will have to do Chemo before I get the Radiation treatments. Oh Joy! I'm once again afraid. I'm just plain scared to death, if you want the truth. I feel like crying but I don't know how in the world acting like a girl would help right now. I see the Oncologist tomorrow at 11:15 a.m. to find out all the information about my Chemo treatments. The Radiologist said they normally start Chemo a month after surgery. I guess, that means if it is a month from the second surgery, it will start in three weeks.

I started back to work today! One route that is. My husband delivered the papers and I directed him. I can't lift anything for 2 more weeks. I feel like at any moment I am going to wake up and all of this will have been a bad dream. Pinch!! Ouch!!! No, I'm wake.

I went to Worship team practice tonight. It was so nice to be with everyone again. I can't hardly take just sitting here and doing nothing for I don't know how long.

I'll journal more tomorrow after I find out what I am facing.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Radiologist May 6, 2008

I had to go see the radiologist yesterday. I was so very nervous for some reason. I just hate going to see the doctor anyway and I have now been to more doctor appointments in the last month then I have been to in my entire life. It really wasn't that bad. She did an exam and asked me a lot of question. She then told me I was going to have Chemo treatments and then 38 radiation Treatments.

More on this later!

I still can't sleep well.

My first thoughts about having Cancer

I sent out a few emails to friends right after I found out I had Cancer. This was my thoughts.

Email One

I just really don't know how to say this but to just say it. I found out last week that I have breast Cancer. It seem so strange to say it but that is it.

I don't really want to share this on my blog but I could sure use your prayers right now. I have had so many test run in the last two weeks that my head hurts thinking about all of this. I sure could use your prayers right now.

Email 2

Hello Dear Brother,

I wanted to let you know I'll need a little time off from the Worship team soon. I don't know how long that will be just yet! Hopefully just a few weeks to a month. Depending on how long it takes me to recover from the surgery.

I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer last week. I went to see a surgeon (Pastor Brian's wife) on Wednesday and she sent me for more tests. I am suppose to meet with her again next week to set up the surgery. I think at this point it will be a lumpectomy plus radiation treatments. I'm not really sure what else if anything just yet. I'll hopefully know more next week.

I don't want to have the surgery until Aaron returns to the Navy. I am aiming for the week of April 20th.

If it is o.k. I'll wait until Thursday to tell the rest of the worship team members unless you think it is not a good idea to tell them before practice? Just let me know! Joe and Maria already know. Joe because my brother told him and Maria because I thought she would be hurt if I didn't tell her before I told others.

Email 3

Hello Holly,

It took me a week to deal with the fact I have Cancer and have to take time off of everything.(Having to take time off of things is very hard for me) I have now placed it in the Lord's hands and am ready to get this out of my body and see how God is going to grow me through all of this.

Woooohoooo, I feel so good about everything this morning. I have a great surgeon, a wonderful family and some great brothers and sisters in Christ. We serve a GREAT GOD; What more could I ask for! I told Jim this morning I was going to get a few good books and a little bell so he could serve me better and just relax for at least a week. LOL!!

I asked Suzanne (my surgeon) to schedule the surgery the week of April 21st. She said that week looked good for her.

If I need anything I promise I'll let you know,


Email 4

Hello All,

As most of you know, I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer a few weeks back. My surgery will be Friday April 25th at 9:00 a.m. This will be done at Chelsea Hospital. Suzanne Jones will be doing my surgery; This is Pastor Brian's wife. I feel very comfortable and confident that the Lord sent Suzanne into my life. Suzanne is an excellent surgeon, I am in very good hands.

I will be having a lumpectomy with possible lymph node removal. At this point we don't know how much tissue the cancer has attached itself to. Treatment will be determined after the test results come back in a few weeks after surgery.

I would be very grateful for your prayers. Pray for my family as well, this is very hard on all of them.

I know that God is in control of this situation and all will work out according to His plan for my life.

"Whatever you do… do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31
This is the verse I try to live my life by. To God be the Glory!
In Christ,

Email 5

Apr 28 (8 days ago)

I think my husband thinks he is going to lose me. When every one found out it had spread to my lymph nodes they all freaked out. I'm not really sure what I should do at this point. They say once it has spread to the nodes it more than likely has spread to other places? I really have no idea? I guess we will just have to wait and see what Suzanne finds out from all the test they have run.

Suzanne did a great job! There are two cuts; one right above my left breast and one right under my left arm. I'm really swollen but that is to be expected. My left arm is really numb right now. Hopefully, I get all the feeling back. She said if they hit a nerve this would happen. It is all pretty crazy huh!

Thought I'd better write a little update!

Surgery went well, it took about 2 1/2 hours the family said. My surgeon thought it would be between 1 1/2 to 2 hours. They found cancer in the lymph nodes under my arm so they had to take all of them out. I have a plastic tube stitched to my side with a plastic drain. It won't come out until it is only draining 20 cc a day. Right now it is at around 75 cc. The only thing I'm able to do is move from the bed to the couch and back again. I did get to get a shower today. That was sort of the highlight of the day.

They want to do Chemo and radiation treatment in about a month. I'll know at the end of the week if the margins are good or if they will have to go back in and do more surgery.

email 6

May 1 (6 days ago) Reply

Hey Red,

I thought I would email and let you know some good news and some bad news. The good news is God is still in control even through our trials. The bad news is I have to have more surgery on Friday. Suzanne didn't like how close the margins were so we are going back in Friday morning. I think I'm getting pretty good at this! 10 out of the 18 lymph nodes that they took had cancer cells in them. Yikes! I see the radiation person on Tuesday and Chemo person on Friday of next week. I guess the good news is I get to meet new people!

Give me a call,


Email 7

May 4 (2 days ago) Reply

Thank you Brenda,

I had a second surgery on Friday. I am doing pretty well today, considering. I miss everyone! I also miss singing praises to our Great King.

The margins weren't good so that is why I had to have a second surgery, Friday. I had cancer in 10 out of the 18 lymph nodes they removed; which isn't good. I see a radiologist on Tuesday and an Oncologist on Friday. I will just have to see what they say. I think I should be able to function OK during the radiation treatments; from what I have heard and hopefully on the Chemo. Suzanne said, it will be a long year but she thinks we can whip this thing. She also said, I really need to keep fighting. You know, I have a lot of fight in me or spunk anyway.

I miss your smile,



I had a lumpectomy and Lymph node removal on April 25, 2008. When I woke up from the surgery I was very frightened. I couldn't remember where I was or how I got to this place. I just remember that I was very cold! I started crying and asked the nurse if I could see my husband.

I was in the recovery room for about 2 hours before I asked if I could please go home. I wanted to get home before my boy's got out of school. I am trying to keep things as normal as possible at home right now.

Surgery 2

My surgeon wasn't happy with the margin so she went back in on May 2nd, 2008 for another surgery. She didn't have to put me as deeply asleep as the first surgery. I felt pretty good afterwards. I did crash about 3:30 p.m. and slept most of the night.

Saturday May 3rd, 2008 I had a rough day. I didn't feel to well and stayed in bed most of the day.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

It's in the Valley we Grow

It's in the Valley we Grow

Sometimes life seems hard to bear,
Full of sorrow, trouble and woe
It's then we have to remember
That it's in the valleys we grow.

If we always stayed on the mountain top
And never experienced pain,
We would never appreciate God's love
And would be living in vain.

We have so much to learn
And our growth is very slow,
Sometimes we need the mountain tops,
But it's in the valleys we grow.

We do not always understand
Why things happen as they do,
But I am very sure of one thing.
My Lord will see me through.

The little valleys are nothing
When we picture Christ on the cross
He went through the valley of death;
His victory was Satan's loss.

Forgive me Lord, for complaining
When I'm feeling so very low.
Just give me a gentle reminder
That it's in the valleys I grow.

Continue to strengthen me, Lord
And use my life each day
To share your love with others
And help them find their way.

Thank you for the valleys, Lord
For this one thing I know
The mountain tops are glorious
But it's in the valleys I grow!

Have a blessed weekend!